I just had the evening of my life with the girls. I poked their tummies and they laughed. We watched baby girl’s mannerisms and laughed at her. Girl number told me she loves me so much and that I am the best mom in the world. Statements like this just melt my heart and make me thankful for being a mother. But then there are other times I ask myself what business I have with motherhood. How did I even get here? I’m I even doing this this thing right?
So I’ve been thinking of some of the crazy things each mother has done at some point in their life. Motherhood has shown me that I have a quirky association with crazy. Here are ten things each mother must have done:
1. Considered getting rid of the kids for a loooooong time.
Sometimes I just wish I could send my kids on a month-long vacation somewhere.
2. Spoken continuously like a mad person.
You know the way mad people speak sometimes. The speech is fast-forwarded and almost has no meaning. Yeah, that.
3. Seen your kids as deliberate enemies.
Some days, it just feels like the girls are doing every and anything to switch on my anger button. Dem send wona for ma back? Go and tell them you haff not seen me!
4. Given instructions that have little or no meaning
My aunt once yelled at her 3 screaming kids, “You stand there! You stand there! You, stand there!” What does that even mean?
4. Answered a toy phone. No matter how big and reasonable you are, when your kid gives you a toy phone, sister, just answer it!
5. Fought between sleeping and having me time. I go through the day exhausted and desperately wanting a date with my bed. But when the time comes, I just want to have some me-time.
6. Cried in secret. Because maybe you felt like you weren’t slaying at motherhood like you should. Or maybe because motherhood was slaying you.
7. Said “yes” without listening. Sometimes you get tired of scrutinising requests and you just say yes without thinking. I said, “yes” the other day without thinking. Turns out girl number two was trying to do the opposite of what I wanted her to do.
8. Envied those without kids. You just look at those without kids and you’re like, “you di enjoy oh!”
9. Played ABC songs even when no kid was watching. This is so me. I unconsciously leave the songs to play before I realise myself thereafter.
10. Hidden to eat your chocolate or some treat because you didn’t want your kids to beg for some.
Bonus point: Used the restroom with an audience. It just happens. You are sitting there and a tiny human being pushes their way in.
Another bonus point: Prolonged shower time just because you want to have alone time. I take staycations in my bathroom… literally.
Anotherrrrr bonus point (Ha! I should write a “book” on this): Taken your kid to the hospital to consult for a really serious illness and it turns out to be nothing. I once took my oldest to the hospital with some serious complaints and the doctor said her sickness was called, “good mother syndrome”.
Okay, last one: Punished your kid for acting exactly like you. Raise your hands if guilty.
So what are some of the crazy things you have done as a mother or you have observed other mothers do?
Let’s always remember that each time you show love to a kid, you are changing the world.
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Number 4 got me cracking. And guess what? My first daughter will say mama this doesnโt make sense. And I will tell her I know but just stay there.
Hahaha I can imagine!
Ha Ha Ha I love this post.I am guilt of every single point.
Hahahaha!
lol at hide to eat chocolates..
loool
Hahaha it works!
hihi ,guilty as charged. i relate to every single point. i pretend to poo for long while i read my novel. Eish motherhood. it is getting the first two girls are off to the dormitory. but this last girl, chai….pikin di humbug like old mat house. Thanks Pre
Ooh why am I just seeing this now? Lol at old mat! I could take forever in bathroom having some me time before I go out again to the chaos. Mum survival tactics. Lol
Lol at you resigned yourself to fate. What can a girl do?