WHY I WILL NEVER BE A MODERN GIRL
Published Nov 26, 2016
Updated Jun 09, 2024
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I have always been a social misfit. I’m not joking. I don’t mean that in a I cannot relate with people kind of way. What this means is that I don’t always seem to fit in whatever society I find myself in. I just don’t fit. Back in my high school days, I wrote an article titled, “real social fitness” that got published in the school magazine. Maybe it was my way of exonerating myself from the “social misfit” cloud that hung over me.
When all my friends were dating and sharing gifts with their boyfriends, I was busy writing poems for them. Who does that? The one time I tried to fit in by partying in my first year at the university, it was so weird. I could feel my salamanda shoes and skimpy skirt begging me to stop. That same year, I met Jesus or rather, Jesus met me. That changed my life completely and my inability to conform intensified. From being the girl with neither swag nor stylish shoes in secondary, to being the girl with no boyfriend in high school, I became an official “church girl”
These days, I no longer meet people in school but on social media. I have discovered that I still do not fit! I have accepted my fate. I will never be a modern “geh”. Here is why:
I need my man
Mr N is not permitted to die. Who is going to pay the bills, fix things around the house or service the cars? I hardly know how those things happen. I am not some Miss Independent who can do it all on her own and needs no man. I am not one who refuses to take her husband’s last name because I want to be viewed as a stong self-sufficient woman. I need my man.
My place is in the kitchen
While my mates are busy chanting, “a woman’s place is not in the kitchen” I am spending/enjoying most of my life in the kitchen. You see why I say I don’t fit? I am not team #wifenotcook. I am team #feedhusbandtillhecanttakeitanymore.
I don’t have Kim K’s body
And I’m not obsessed with having that kind of body either. My backyard is nothing to write to Ntamassen about. I do not have a killer flat tummy. My belly is something far, far away from flat. Thank God for big blouses, which I use to cover the multitude of sins. Ha.
I am not widely travelled
These days I see modern “gehs’ on social media visiting all sorts of places: Bangladesh, Thailand, the Bahamas, Cuba, Dubai, even Ukraine. For me, it’s by the special grace of God that I entered America. And even in this America I almost still live like the contri geh that I am. No sipping pina coladas on the beach with a Prada purse and lamboutine shoes. Is it lamboutine or louboutine?
I have never worn human hair
And I don’t intend to buy any human parts called hair to add to my head. The thought alone scares me. But let me tell you the truth, the prices scare me more. All that money for hair???
I do not dress to kill
On most days, I dress to cover the body. I hardly know what the reigning fashion outfit is. You can still find me wearing things that were en vogue in the early 2000s. In fact, a woman saw me the other day in a store and said my shirt reminded her of something she used to wear in the 90s. And I honestly thought I was being stylish. Chai, I have suffered.
My selfies are not perfect
My selfie game is so not-on-point. I often try to take as many as I can then I give up because for some reason, the camera in my hand cannot produce the picture in my heart. Why?
So for the reasons above, I will never be a modern girl. Do you identify with any of the things I listed? Are you a modern “geh” or modern “boi”?
Ha I definitely enjoyed reading this post Precious.
I usually don’t fit in either. i can totally relate to you on not dressing to kill. I’m a minimalist, I like to feel comfortable. I don’t put too much importance on the latest fashion etc.
On the kitchen, I think people try to pass on a message to oppressed women and let them know they can do whatever they want. If cooking is what a woman likes to do she can be in the kitchen as much as she want in my opinion.
Have a great Sunday dear! ๐
xo
Sauniya | Find Your Bliss โก
Awww thanks Sauniya!
You are so right – If a woman enjoys kitchen duties, then she should stay there as much as she wants. It shouldn’t be something done out of compulsion.
Thanks for reading, dear. Have a great week ahead!
My dear sis, no need to fit anywhere else as long as you fit in Jesus’s side.
I know what you mean, i gave my life to Jesus at the age of 12 so no partying clubing thing, married very early and enjoying it…
I fit with Jesus so thats ok, no need for swag thing. I love it when you say “i dress to cover my body” tell me about it…
I love your cooking skills, follow your recipes everyday…found you through my hubby fcbk’s page from a friend of his who like a recipe one of his own friend like…u get it??
May God bless us in this so called modern society not to reduce the standards to fit in heaven…
Hi Laeti,
So glad to hear from you! I got married early too so I totally get you.
I feel so fulfilled to hear that the recipes have been a blessing to you. May we not conform to the world and not fit into Christ. Thanks for dropping a comment, dear. Hope to see more of you.
Haha, this post is so funny. It’s a good thing to just be you and we like you that way too. You don’t have to fit in to anything because that’s where true happiness is. Oh and by the way, I tried your Banana cake recipe and it turned out great!! Thanks a lot.
Amen. There’s nothing like just being you.
Thanks for telling me about the banana cake, Zinny!
Sincerely i fit.Am still in my very early twenties but i fit totally,my friends see me as “low spirit” but i love the me i am.The kitchen…”food and nutrition madame” they call me and i so love it.I try the human hair though well after seizing it from mummy or aunty.All the rest i fit totally.Thanks aunty Pre for this.
Aww Diana, high five.
I have been a food and nutrition madame since form 1. Lol
Glad to see that you can relate.
That is why I married You, my “contri-geh”…
*kisses*
Ha ha ha ha ha sweet, ah ah You should have asked me now???? I would have educated you that it is ” loubounin”, please pronounce it with me..”Lou…bou…nin”
Hahahaha Lou-bou-nin! No ‘t’ somewhere?
You are true to yourself and thats what makes you , YOU!x
http://www.stephylately.com
Amen. Thanks sweetie!
I have never fitted haha not just since high school but since nursery school. Wonderful combination of Jesus girl plus beauty and brains and they called me something like Jesus Nerd Freak Holy Maria Thou Art. I didn’t like the gossips. When people talked style I talked JesusCor Science or the yesterday football match or some novel I was reading or some show I watched. I was so against fornication so when people were doing their boyfriend and girlfriend things I was the one who removed myself from their environment and became a loner for most of my high school years. Today I still don’t fit because I became a fashionista but the old woman style because I wear jacket suit dresses that comes with a dress and jacket with a hr and shoe and bag to match which makes me look more mature than I am instead of wearing “branche”. Instead of reading novels now I am a political activist for social justice in addition to still being the Jesus girl and I dance to gospel as the equivalent to others dancing makossa every morning I wake up after thanking God for another day and people think I must be crazy because no one dances to gospel music while running every morning haha. I can go on and on and I am very opinionated and refuse to let anyone belittle me whether young or old lol. So I come off really strong most times to people who easily get intimidated by people with a loud voice and strong sense of personality. Plus I have never had two vices of low self esteem or jealousy so people always wonder why I am so happy and when I tell them it is Jesus they say there she goes again that one weh Sabi claim Jesus for all thing. So I am not just a social misfit because I love people and getting to know them but I am Jesus Nerd Social Justice Scientist Fanatic among other things because I took the Holy Mary Thou Art part I was assigned and put on the Sociak Justice Activist even though I still stand strong against premarital sex. Sex is good but it is for marriage and to be enjoyed only in that realm so I don’t get intimidated by standing out as a strong ” opposant” to it. Plus before I forgot I love my shoes and have too much of it but I don’t buy designer things because I don’t believe person’s name on something should be worth hundreds more when it is still made in China just like the ones I get on bargain show website for under 30 dollars and stones times even under 20 dollars which looks just as good. Ignore typos because I didn’t get to edit haha. Plus I have never commented on anything B outside of Facebook in my life for a first website comment I hope I did just fine huh? I loved this post because it gave me nostalgia of my growing up to date I couldn’t resist not commenting haha
Lol at branche!
I’m glad this post pulled you out of your no-commenting shell, JJ.
Being a Jesus girl and a happening socialite according to the standards of society are two things that just don’t go together.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Precious yaff kee me with laff o! My dear trying to ‘fit in’ is a chore on its own that isn’t worth it cos you pressurise yourself to keep up with the pace of others.
I can so relate with most of these scenarios, I can’t even draw a perfect brow, I can comb my hair till thy kingdom come, my dressing nko? As long as it fits. Who dash me banging body? I’m a typical lepa.
But my self esteem is par, I don’t see myself as inferior, same values I’m instilling into my children, the society should not dictate anything to them, they should rather influence the society positively.
I love you Precious, you are beautiful and fulfilling God’s purpose for your life. Keep doing you.
Sorry for this epistle. I will control mysef next time.
Hahahaha Bola, please don’t control yourself next time. Epistles are so welcome!
Lol at typical lepa.
A great self esteem is so healthy. Please teach your children oo jare. No need to conform to society.
Thanks so much, sweetie!
You may not have all those attributes you enumerated, but you are an exceptional writer
Awww thank you!